According to North Korean news, Donald Trump is the grandson of a North Korean man also named Donald Trump

Fully translated TV news from North Korea Televisoin announcing the appointment of Donald Trump as President of capitalist running dog America.



Donald Trump's grandfather was native North Korean born, after being abandoned by his father during the North Korea war, which North Korea won easily, after American armies retreated and surrendered.



Plans were announced for Mr Trumps visit to North Korea, where flowers will be thrown at him.



Transcript:

- [Narrator] Standby studio. 10 seconds. 10, Nine, Eight, Is she ready? You sure she is ready? We are going live in five, four, tell her to standby Clocks' Faulty. Royal Studio. What a beautiful scene. What a beautiful country. I trust you are all standing. I know I am. Look at the trees, look at the mountains. Look at the sky, look at the weather. How beautiful. How wonderful. How pleasing to the heart and to the mind. Our flag ladies and gentlemen, our flag. Makes you proud. If you're nearly ready yet. Tell her to get a move on she's on in a few seconds. The flags on now, tell her. Never mind her bloody make up, tell her to get a move on. We are live. We've got statues. Um, the VTS stopped, its rolling again. Is she ready yet? Well tell her to hurry up. Well, its too late to go there we should've thought of that. Okay standby. Coming out of the music. Standby studio. Hello. Welcome to North Korea television. My name is Emma. And I welcome you to this broadcast. The truth channel of North Korea. Democratic people's Republic of North Korea. Here is a red screen. We enjoy this video so much, we are going to play it again. This time we will play it backwards. Please be standing. Zoom in. Zoom in on the nose this time not the ear. You know what happened yesterday. You know where he is now. Keep zooming. Doris keep waving that flag, keep it shaking. Good girl. Okay that's enough zoom. Keep moving that flag Doris. Good girl. Oh so much more of this. My where has she gone? She can't she's in the middle of a broad cast. I don't care if her bladder is weak she should've gone before we started. Well how long do you want me to get this band playing for? We zoomed it we can't zoom it anymore. Doris' arms are getting tired, she's waving the flag. You think we should zoom out? That'd be disrespectful. Tell her to get a move on. Okay, I'll run this video again. I'll just run it backwards this time, nobody will notice. The pond's on fire. How come the pond's on fire? Doris you're not shaking the flag fast enough. Alright, lets zoom in on the son now. No not the sun, the son. Thank you. Straight in on the nose please, on the nose. Doris stop waving. Thank you. Can't get a staff. What wonderful music. Nice uniform, nice haircut. Mine is like that. She out of that toilet yet? Well people could turn it off? Oh no they can't turn of can they yeah you're right. Okay but, I mean, its not the best television this. Keep waving the flag Doris Yes, I know your arms are tired. She's gone for the loo. She does this every time. She's obviously friends with the You know, friends in high places. She gets away with it but we've got a television station here to run. Alright, what should we do next, what have we got. Go to red, okay. We've got a blue film now have we. Oh, standby studio, I think she is back. Welcome to North Korea television, the land of bountiful splendidness, and snow. Here is the news. The grandson of North Korean man Donald Trump has been made President-elect of America who's name is also Donald Trump. Film at Seven. Nothing much else happened today But you can read about it in the newspapers tomorrow. With your family on yellow daffodil day. You will all celebrate. Note that the men's hairdressers are closed tomorrow as it is their national day. At 3:00 o'clock tomorrow, everyone must be out on the streets for the spontaneous dancing. This is to celebrate the election of Yankee running dog, Donald Trump as president. This is the sea he would cross when he visits our great nations next year. There will be rejoicing. Flowers will be thrown at him. No daisy's for obvious reasons. That is all from North Korea news today. Thank you for watching. Please go back to your collective. Do not walk on or eat the grass. Turn your television off now and return to work. That means you!