Creepy Dude Spends Countless Hours Training His Crows To Attack MAGA Hats

The culture wars have officially gone airborne.

A man who goes by “biz_dave” on Threads has gone viral after claiming he trained a group of crows to steal red baseball caps — specifically MAGA hats — as a form of protest against President Donald Trump. Yes, really.

According to Dave, what started as feeding a few neighborhood birds turned into a months-long project involving conditioning an entire murder of crows to recognize a food station and, eventually, swipe red hats straight off people’s heads. Online fans have since dubbed the birds an “anti-MAGA flying army,” a phrase that feels less like a joke and more like a sign of where internet activism currently lives.

Dave has documented the entire process on Threads, posting videos, photos, and step-by-step explanations for anyone apparently interested in recruiting wildlife into the culture wars. His early posts focus on crow care basics, including diet recommendations.

“The crows will eat lots of things,” he wrote, before advising peanuts, chicken scraps, mealworms, and dog kibble — a sentence that reads like a normal bird-feeding tip until you remember the alleged end goal.

He said the most time-consuming part wasn’t the hat-stealing, but simply getting the birds to trust him. According to Dave, it took about four months of consistent feeding for the crows to reliably show up. Only after that did training progress to what he calls the “hat removal stage,” which he says took another three months.

That’s roughly seven months of sustained effort — the length of a college semester or a professional certification — devoted to convincing crows to participate in petty political theft.