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WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, AT WORK OR EVER. ;-)
Who needs a dentist when you can use a car polisher? Just pop into your local car garage and get your teeth whitened instantly at a fraction of the cost. Forget about the permanent damage to the tooth enamel, its cheap and cheerful and you will learn to live with the pain for the rest of your life, every time you eat or drink anything.