This clip from the 'Call Her Daddy' podcast in 2020 has been making the rounds again, and if you’re a guy who has ever considered what it would be like to actually date this woman long-term, she basically just handed you a detailed brochure titled “Here Are the Reasons You Should Run.”
She opens the relevant portion by declaring that she “enjoys sexuality more than I enjoy sex.” That’s fine on its own, plenty of people like the idea of the thing more than the logistics, but then she keeps going. Foreplay is out. Not because of some quirky preference, but because she’s “just too busy.” In her own words: “I don’t really fuck with foreplay because I’m just too busy. As everyone will tell you, even in my business, I do not like to tease things. I like to not say shit and then just fucking go for it and scare the shit out of you.”
Busy. With what, exactly? She’s not curing cancer between albums. The follow-up is even better: “I have a lot of shit going on. I don’t really have time to sit around and flick my clit. I really want to get the fuck done and get the fuck back to editing.”
Imagine being the guy in that situation. You finally get some alone time with your famous girlfriend, and the vibe is less “let’s take our time” and more “hurry up so I can get back to Final Cut Pro.” She’s not framing this as a fun, spontaneous thing. She’s framing sex with a man as an inconvenient task that needs to be checked off the list so she can return to her real priorities. That’s not “I’m a busy professional.” That’s “your presence is a brief interruption.”
Then we get to the physical specifics. Lube? Unnecessary. “If I’m in the mood, we’re good. I don’t really need lube, to be honest. Stick it right in, just hurry, hurry, and make it good.” The “hurry” part is doing a lot of work here. This isn’t about being efficient in a hot way. It’s about minimizing the amount of time she has to engage with the actual process of having sex with you.
The crown jewel of the interview, though, is her reasoning for wanting things to move so fast: she doesn’t want to look at your penis. “I don’t really want to look at a penis for any longer than I have to. I think that’s why I want it to go inside, so it gets out of my face. I don’t want it in my face, dude.” She doubles down: “It’s good if it can just get in and go away, because I don’t want it eyeing me off. That’s just how I truly feel.” And for good measure: “Everyone knows that tits are prettier than balls. Everybody knows this. Your dick is ugly, but look at this body.”
As a man listening to this, the message is not subtle. Your body is something to be endured and then removed from her line of sight as quickly as possible. She’s not saying “I prefer a certain rhythm” or “I’m not huge on oral.” She’s saying the thing attached to you is aesthetically offensive enough that the goal is to hide it inside her so she doesn’t have to see it anymore. That’s a tough note to come home to.
None of this is about one weird preference. Plenty of women (and men) have very specific things they do and don’t want in bed. The issue is the combination of contempt for the act itself, the person she’s doing it with, and the complete lack of interest in any of the connective tissue that makes sex part of an actual relationship rather than a chore. She likes the idea of sexuality. She just doesn’t seem particularly interested in the reality of being with a man for longer than the absolute minimum required to finish.
You can argue she’s just being honest, and honesty is good. You can also argue that this particular brand of honesty is a giant flashing sign that says “I will treat you like an inconvenience and find your body mildly repulsive.” Both things can be true. Either way, if you’re a guy who saw this clip and thought “yeah, that sounds like a fun dynamic,” I have some beachfront property in Kansas I’d like to sell you.
The full interview is out there if you want the surrounding context. Just don’t be surprised if, by the end, you’re mostly grateful you were never in the running.
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