In a stunning display of overconfidence that physics textbooks will one day cite as Exhibit A, an unidentified gentleman in full gray sweatsuit decided Tuesday that the correct way to navigate a rainy parking-lot apocalypse was to treat it like an Olympic long-jump qualifier.
Video evidence shows our hero approaching a modest collection of puddles outside what appears to be a strip-mall vape shop or possibly a very sad nail salon. Instead of the universally accepted “walk around like a normal mammal” strategy, he opts for a series of ambitious hop-skip-jump combos clearly inspired by parkour tutorials watched at 1.5× speed.
First leap: solid form, respectable height, clean landing.
Second leap: still respectable, crowd (of zero people) is impressed.
Third leap: hubris achieved terminal velocity. Mid-air, he realizes gravity has not been paid the proper respect. The laws of fluid dynamics then politely remind him that water is, in fact, wet. Result: full-body splashdown directly into the deepest, coldest, most judgmental puddle available.
