In what can only be described as the most optimistic biblical remix since someone tried turning water into wine with Ribena, a self-styled prophet in Lagos decided it was high time to part the ocean like the original Moses.
Spoiler: The sea wasn't having any of it.
Footage circulating online shows the plucky holy man, decked out in flowing robes and armed with what appears to be a repurposed broom handle doubling as a divine staff, striding confidently into the churning waves off a Lagos beach.
Behind him, a fired-up crowd of supporters cheers wildly, arms raised to the heavens, phones out, fully committed to the miracle in progress. You can almost hear the unspoken chant: "Part it, king!"
Wave after wave of the Atlantic, apparently unimpressed by the lack of divine backing, body-slams the modern-day Moses like an overzealous bouncer at a beach club. He staggers, slips, gets absolutely rag-dolled by the surf, and ends up flailing in the foam like a man who's just realised his life jacket was a dodgy AliExpress purchase. At one point, he's seen desperately raising his staff skyward as if to say, "Any time now, Lord!" The sea responded with what can only be interpreted as a very wet middle finger.
