Apparently, This Year, The Olympic Gold Medals Were Ordered From Temu

Olympic medals are officially having a worse week than your buddy’s Temu grill.

Multiple athletes at the Milan Cortina Games have discovered that their hard-earned Olympic hardware is apparently held together by vibes and hope, as medals have started straight-up falling apart during celebrations. Yes, the one thing that’s supposed to survive a lifetime is losing fights with gravity after about 30 seconds of excitement.

U.S. skier Breezy Johnson was the first to break the news after winning gold in Sunday’s alpine downhill. During her post-race press conference, Johnson casually showed reporters that her medal had already separated from its ribbon while she was celebrating.

Her reaction was peak athlete honesty.

“I don’t know that the Italians are known for their engineering,” Johnson joked. “I assume someone will fix it.”

She also offered a warning to fellow medalists that feels insane to even have to say out loud.

“Don’t jump in them.”

Unfortunately, she wasn’t kidding.

On Monday, U.S. figure skater Alysa Liu posted a video showing her gold medal fully detached from its ribbon after winning the team event. Unlike Johnson, Liu took the situation in stride, smiling and holding the medal and ribbon separately like it was a design choice.

“My medal don’t need the ribbon,” she wrote, instantly becoming the most chill person involved in this entire fiasco.

Meanwhile, German biathlete Justus Strelow wasn’t so lucky. Video shows his medal falling off mid-celebration and clanging onto the tile floor as he jumped with teammates after the mixed relay. Nothing screams Olympic glory like your medal hitting the ground before you even leave the venue.

Officials are, of course, “working on it.”

Andrea Francisi, the chief games operations officer for the Milan Cortina organizing committee, told the Associated Press they’re aware of the issue and taking it very seriously. He emphasized that medals represent the dream of athletes and that organizers want everything to be “absolutely perfect.”

What “working on it” actually means remains unclear, but at this point, athletes may want to celebrate future wins standing completely still with their hands at their sides just to be safe.

The good news is that officials say replacements or fixes are coming. The bad news is that the most iconic prize in sports currently has the structural integrity of a cheap lanyard from a music festival.

Win gold. Don’t move. Don’t jump. And definitely don’t celebrate too hard.